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open thread – April 18, 2025

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]

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 14 hours 12 minutes ago

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getting out of a fancy work lunch due to allergies, photo of a coworker doing a Nazi salute, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Excusing myself from a fancy work lunch due to allergies I have severe food allergies to multiple common food items. They are complex (substitutes for one food often contain another, some allergies are tied to flavoring or preservative agents not immediately obvious, etc.), often challenging, […]

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 1 day 1 hour ago

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how can I make our vacation policy as fair as possible?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I am the director of a small, public-facing unit. We have a full-time staff of 10 and several part-time workers. I am struggling with our leave system and how to make it as equitable as possible. Current policy (that I inherited) is that employees can put in all leave for the following […]

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 1 day 11 hours ago

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a real-life salary negotiation (with emails!)

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A salary negotiation success story from a reader: Due to a lack of backfills, I’ve absorbed the work of some attritions over the last couple of years and have been operating for some time as three raccoons in a trench coat. I’ve far exceeded expectations and have been recognized in performance reviews (although not raises […]

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 1 day 12 hours ago

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what niche job boards do you use to find job openings?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. Today we have two letters, one question. The first: I’m a fed in a (relatively) safe job in a (relatively) safe agency, and while I’m hoping to stay, I am keeping an eye out for other opportunities. But as someone who went straight from academia to the federal […]

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 1 day 14 hours ago

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I still have to work if I don’t attend team-building, boss has hired my replacement but I’m not ready to leave, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. If I opt out of team-building activities, I still have to work on those days I work for a small nonprofit with about 25 employees. Recently, we have begun “employee engagement” activities, like visiting local attractions. These activities take place during work hours. We are […]

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 2 days 1 hour ago

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update: I manage a terrible slob — how can I convince her upset coworker that I’m handling it?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer who manages a terrible slob and asked how to convince her upset coworker that it’s being handled? Here’s the update. I actually have an update to this situation right now! I appreciated so much of the advice in the comments, as well as yours. I didn’t get much into everything I had […]

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 2 days 11 hours ago

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how should I respond to networkers seeking help I can’t offer?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I am one of the lucky few who have not been greatly affected by layoffs in my region. While I am working from home, I am still working. I work in an industry that is fairly well insulated, considering the circumstances. I have a friend who has been laid off from their […]

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 2 days 12 hours ago

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our Gen Z employees want to be coddled and are struggling with the realities of work

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: As a millennial (I’m 40) who spent years being mocked and maligned for enjoying avocado toast, I’m averse to generational generalizations. That said, I’m a manager in a large finance company struggling with how to motivate and manage our youngest employees. Our company is typical for finance; buttoned up, long-ish hours, high […]

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 2 days 14 hours ago

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my boss is my boyfriend and won’t give me a day off, coworker asked my employee to hide info from me, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is my boyfriend and won’t give me a day off The owner of the restaurant where I work is my boyfriend and the general manager. I asked for a day off a month ahead of when I needed it off. It’s on Mother’s […]

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 3 days 1 hour ago

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my coworker makes absolutely everything about herself

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I work in a department of nine people. We all get along well, but I’m struggling with how to handle my frustrations with my colleague, Margo. Margo is possibly the most well-intentioned person I’ve ever met, but she has the infuriating habit of bringing every conversation back to herself to explain how […]

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 3 days 11 hours ago

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my company only lets parents work from home

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I work at a company that is entirely in-office — they really push “office culture.” I knew that when I started a year and a half ago, but working from home isn’t a priority for me so it hasn’t been a big deal. It’s a fairly small organization, around 50 employees in […]

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 3 days 12 hours ago

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work trainers are pushing us to share race, religion, sexuality, and gender identity

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I keep finding myself in this weird situation at work. I’m a medical resident in an academic hospital system in a big progressive city. I keep finding myself in mandatory educational events where the facilitator introduces the concept of privilege as if no one’s ever heard of it and invites/demands everyone to […]

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 3 days 14 hours ago

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coworker is making our friend break-up really weird, LinkedIn sob stories, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is making our friend break-up really weird I have a coworker who I was friends with outside of work for about a year. Due to various issues inside and outside of work (complaining about coworkers over Teams, asking the same basic questions over […]

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 4 days 1 hour ago

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I have to give an employee feedback, but I’m not allowed to share specific examples

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I have a new employee (Joe) who joined us three months ago in a manager role that needs to collaborate with and support other team’s workflows. His 90-day review is scheduled to be held in a couple of weeks. I have received feedback from my manager that Joe has been stepping on […]

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 4 days 11 hours ago

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should I hire back a bully?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: About a year and a half ago, I was forced to lay off multiple employees. I was truly heartbroken to see most of them go. But there were two employees I swore I’d never hire back. They both did fairly decent work, but were bullies who fed off of one another’s bad […]

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 4 days 12 hours ago

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can I ask my boss not to scream at me with her door open?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: Recently, my boss sent me five spreadsheets, several with multiple tabs, to fill out but offered no information on what went in which row, column, or tab. I managed to figure most of it out (she gets annoyed when I ask her questions) and asked for clarification on the rest. I only […]

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 4 days 14 hours ago

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boss won’t stop wearing perfume that gives me headaches, my new job is doing something illegal, and more

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss won’t stop wearing perfume that gives me headaches I have a generally good relationship with my boss. We work in a shared office space which includes my boss, me, and three other people. I am Covid-cautious still and wear a KN95 mask full-time […]

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 5 days 1 hour ago

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weekend open thread – April 12-13, 2025

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Three Days in June, by Anne Tyler. The night before a woman’s daughter is getting married, her ex shows up on her doorstep with […]

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 1 week ago

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open thread – April 11, 2025

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]

  Ask a Manager

 1 week ago

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