Ask a Manager

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts.

• all of my 2022 and 2023 book recommendations
• all of my book recommendations from 2015-2021
• the cats of AAM

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […]

• my coworker passes me messages "from the CEO" ... that I think are really from her
• my employee sent me a "letter of intent" to look for another job
• need help finding a job? start here

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My coworkers won’t help me cut expenses A few months ago we received an email from the Big Boss (head of our business unit) that we are entering a […]

• my coworkers won't cut expenses, pop culture references in interviews, and more
• interviewer said if you get a raise, the workload will go up for the entire team
• when I asked for a raise, my boss went through my bills

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2019. A reader writes: I work in a small office (about 20 people at this branch of our company) and we have two individual restrooms (as opposed to stalls) in our central hallway. There is certainly […]

• my coworker is setting toilet paper on fire in the bathroom
• the men in our office use the women's bathrooms ... only for pooping
• my boss follows me into the bathroom to talk about work

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Former coworker stole my work and keeps contacting me for help Thank you so much for publishing an answer to my question! I appreciated your advice, Alison, and the advice shared by the commentariat. It was validating to see that others agreed Lulu is, well, delulu. I […]

• former coworker stole my work and keeps contacting me for help
• my coworker cries over tiny things, using a nickname at work, and more
• my favorite posts of the decade

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Today’s “ask the readers” is for my mom: let’s talk about times when someone righted someone’s else wrong (a favorite pastime of my mother). Maybe a colleague stood up to the office bully on behalf of a more junior colleague, or a new manager flagged a pay gap and got it fixed, or any other […]

• the plum liquor, the free lunches, and other times people used their power for good
• my coworker is upset that I didn't tell her I'm pregnant
• how to tell an employee he needs to figure some things out himself

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. One of our bosses got invited to our rowdy beach weekend I am good friends with three of my coworkers, let’s call them Billy, Goat, and Gruff. The four […]

• our boss got invited to our rowdy beach weekend, cold-contacting strangers on LinkedIn, and more
• should I organize an all-men beach weekend for my coworkers, asking for time to process things before responding, and…
• my boss and my employee won't stop asking me to spend the night at their houses

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2017. A reader writes: I’ve got a question regarding how much “mistake tolerance” is expected in the workplace. Just to give you some background, I’m a (tech) team lead, which, in my case, means my daily […]

• I feel betrayed when employees quit
• I sent my boss a long, angry email ... but I turned out to be wrong
• was it unprofessional to say I was angry?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’ve recently started managing a team of several employees. While I love the work, I’m not oblivious to the fact I’m still very new at managing people and have lots of room to develop. I once heard a speaker say that bad bosses are typically clueless about how they are perceived by […]

• advice for new managers
• is it a bad idea to work for a first-time manager?
• my terrible intern is a VIP's son and can't be fired

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2015. Is it real? Is it fake? I honestly don’t know. I normally don’t print letters that I think are likely fake, although the update made me less sure. Ultimately I don’t think it matters (as […]

• should you create a fake workload to test how much pressure an employee can take?
• can bad employees and bad managers change?
• a creepy customer complained my employees aren't friendly enough

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My coworker whispers a daily affirmation to me I work in a fairly open plan corporate setting. A new colleague joined another team about a month ago, and passes […]

• coworker whispers a daily affirmation to me, do I have to tell people I met with about my strep throat, and more
• coworker is always late because she stops for coffee, my boss told me to change my ringtone, and more
• my coworker keeps whispering sexually explicit things in the office bathroom

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2019. A reader writes: I’ve worked at a medium sized tech company as a software engineer for the past two years now. Our city has an ordinance requiring all businesses to compost and recycle. I fully […]

• can I threaten legal action to get a better job offer?
• my intern asked if my pregnancy was planned, cold-emailing companies about job openings, and more
• you should be giving your interns mock interviews

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’m the owner of a company. Our team is mighty, but tiny — only 10 people, three of whom are in leadership/senior positions. One employee firmly believes that since we spend most of our time at work, coworkers should function more like family than like, well, coworkers. We try to find ways […]

• coworker is throwing a tantrum over having to interview for a promotion, inviting coworkers to your wedding, and more
• a coworker prayed for my fiancé's death so we didn't invite her to our wedding ... and now there is drama
• my boss and my employee won't stop asking me to spend the night at their houses

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2020. A reader writes: I am part of the HR department at my workplace, and we hired “Andre” a few months ago as a part of our student group. He’s only 18, but he’s been a […]

• my boss flirts with (and sometimes sleeps with) our vendors -- and tells me all about it
• my coworkers think I'm flirting with them
• what’s up with the term “work wife”?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. People only ask me about the ducks I work with I’m in the lower-middle level of food service establishment with a couple hundred employees. Last year, I started a […]

• coworkers only ask me about ducks, adult facts in a work presentation, and more
• my awful coworker is also my roommate
• my boss collected money for flowers for me ... and then kept it for herself

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2018. A reader writes: I have an ongoing concern that has a lot to do with mental health but also has to do with work. I am seeing a therapist regularly to deal with the mental […]

• my co-host at a workshop will be someone who didn't pay me for my work
• my employee gave me an "it's her or me" ultimatum
• I delay writing back to people and then never do it -- can I fix this?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: Due to renovations, I’m temporarily sharing an office with another employee. We work different jobs, but are technically peers. He is, frankly, driving me crazy. Every question that comes across his mind, he gets up and asks me. Most of these are surprisingly basic questions. Some questions are work-related. Some are random, […]

• my coworker constantly asks me for personal favors
• my employee pressures coworkers for rides everywhere
• can I apply for a temporarily remote job and then insist on remaining remote?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days, so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2018. A reader writes: My dad started dating this woman (Jill) about two years ago, after he and my stepmom amicably divorced. As this was going on, I graduated from grad school, ended my student internship, […]

• my brother broke up with our coworker, it’s causing drama, and I want to intervene
• my employee is way too helpful and accommodating
• my coworker drops F-bombs all day long

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

I’m off for a few days. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. My colleague is allergic to me because of my cats I’m a brand new manager in a public services environment. I have two cats, who are not particularly hairy, […]

• are people judging me for looking scruffy at work?
• can I show armpit hair at work?
• what happens if I get hired at a dog-friendly company when I'm allergic to dogs?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts.

• all of my 2022 and 2023 book recommendations
• all of my book recommendations from 2015-2021
• the cats of AAM